Unless it’s a perpetrator you are fighting or defending against*, you should not be acting to make the people you’re talking to feel stupid.

Especially if you’re thinking of yourself as helping them.

(*as in, if someone I’m talking to is saying oppressive, abusive, etc things toward me or someone else, and I respond with something like ‘literally everything you just said is a logical fallacy’ or ‘stop talking about history when you clearly don’t know anything about history’, that I am very much OK in doing. The issue is how I treat people I’m having mutually positive conversations with, and very much how I treat people I’m thinking of as helping).

commiekinkshamer:

i mean i get that it’s confusing for non-OCD sufferers to understand why, for example, we can hug or kiss another person but be terrified to shake hands. or unable to touch doorknobs but able to touch money or even a toilet seat, etc etc. this illness is based on irrational fears that rarely follow logic, and can be mysterious even to the sufferer. that’s the characteristic of anxiety disorders and OCD is no exception. so please don’t ask us why we are afraid of some things but not another or try to say we’re faking or exaggerating because if we really had OCD, we would be in the washroom scrubbing our hands 12 hours a day or what have you. also there are different types of OCD and not all revolve around cleanliness, checking, organization or have compulsive components. a person can suffer from OCD and show no external symptoms at all, often leading to a misdiagnosis like “General Anxiety”. Pure O, for example, is based mainly in the obsessive part and usually revolve around morally repulsive things, like fearing you’re a pedophile, will hurt your family or yourself, or “what if” thought  spirals etc.

squirrelp0wer:

jean-luc-gohard:

The most dangerous thing society teaches boys and men, especially white boys and men, is that their emotions are objective logic and reason and that anyone who disagrees is being irrational.

Yes. This is exactly what those “less wrong” assholes espouse and call the rest of us “irrational.”

i-will-walk:

apersnicketylemon:

People with ADHD do not become zombies, sheep or any combination of the two on medication. We really don’t. STOP fearmongering the medication that helps us function and stop refusing to treat children just because some fool on the internet with no medical background said it would turn your kid into a zombie.

However if your child says they don’t like the way their meds make them feel FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM, talk to them and their prescriber about it, see whether your child has heard things about meds that aren’t right, or whether fear of being treated differently or bullied for being on meds plays a significant role, talk to their prescriber about switching to different meds if it seems like that might help, and be open to alternative treatment methods that don’t involve medication. Don’t do what my parents did and leave your child on meds they don’t like for a decade until they’re old enough to make their own decision to come off them. I know too many other kids who were in the same situation as me.

pervocracy:

madeofpatterns:

matesprit:

apersnicketylemon:

People with ADHD do not become zombies, sheep or any combination of the two on medication. We really don’t. STOP fearmongering the medication that helps us function and stop refusing to treat children just because some fool on the internet with no medical background said it would turn your kid into a zombie.

but at the same time please do not shame people like me that feel like ADHD medication takes away from our personalities and makes us feel bad because not everyone reacts to medication the same way and for a lot of people it may not help and at the end of the day it should be the choice of the person with ADHD whether or not to pursue medication. the decision shouldn’t be made by an asshole on the internet or parents or people who are “just trying to help” and should be made by the person who lives ADHD because ultimately they’re the only ones who’ll know whether or not it’s helping them. please respect children with disabilities and allow them to make their own decisions.

both of these.

*insert name of every other psychiatric medication here*

There’s also another dimension to this, which is that sometimes people really are making tradeoffs.  Like, the meds I take for my depression have significant side effects.  In addition to physical things, my emotions are altered by the medication and not always for the best.

But my options are “emotions altered by medication” or “emotions altered by depression.”  Being totally unaltered isn’t on the table.  So yes, my medication is taking away from my personality, and I’ve decided that’s still better than being depressed.  I don’t have to believe that depression meds are harmless to decide I’d rather be on them.

(And this goes in reverse, that someone can decide to take the tradeoff of not taking medication even though their condition really does hurt them.)

I guess what I’m saying is pretty obvious, but I sometimes feel like it’s underrepresented in both sides of this discussion.  Medical interventions usually involve making a tradeoff of some kind, not just deciding whether the intervention is good or bad.

Can’t Sleep, Should Sleep, Long Day Tomorrow

captainchesskelly:

Should be sleeping, but I keep having Thoughts. Not like, heavy Thoughts or freaking out Thoughts, just stuff rumbling around in my brain till I hash it out, so I’mma brainspill a bit here and see if it helps with the sleeping XD

Anyway, with my 21st birthday coming up in a week, I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am now compared to where I was this time last year. The difference is astounding, and it feels almost impossible to have changed so much in so little time. And yet, I think I can narrow down the catalysts for all off these changes under a Big Three Umbrella.

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"We tell our women “get into science, get into math, get into the pipeline.” Who wants to be in a pipeline full of acid?"

Alicia Menendez - The View

I’m at the car dealership, waiting for my service recall to be completed, and this statement caught the attention of every woman in the room. Unsurprisingly, they all nodded in assent while the few men in the room looked uncomfortable.

The point is valid: even if access to STEM and other male dominated fields is made available, we need to do something about the culture in the field. Access to a pipeline full of acid, while it is still access, serves to maintain inequality.

(via glintglimmergleam)

You don’t have to like being disabled

realsocialskills:

This is what I think disability acceptance means:

  • Facing what your abilities are and aren’t
  • Accepting yourself as already having value
  • Living your life now and doing things you care about.
  • Not putting your life on hold waiting for a cure

But, some kinds of acceptance talk end up putting destructive kinds of pressure on people. And I think:

  • It’s ok to like or dislike being disabled. It’s ok to like some aspects of your condition but not others
  • It’s ok to want treatment and to be frustrated that it isn’t available
  • It’s ok to pursue treatment that *is* available
  • It’s ok to work hard to gain or keep certain physical or cognitive abilities, and to be happy or proud that you have them
  • It’s ok to decide that some abilities aren’t worth keeping, and to be happy or proud about moving on from them
  • All of those things are very personal choices, and no one’s business but your own
  • None of them are betrayals of acceptance or other disabled people

The point of acceptance is to get past magical thinking.

It means seeing yourself as you actually are, without being consumed by either tragedy or the need to focus on overcoming disability. It means accepting where you are, and living now, without putting your life on hold waiting for a cure.

Acceptance creates abilities. Acceptance makes it easier to be happy and to make good decisions. But acceptance does not solve everything, and it does not come with an obligation to love absolutely every aspect of being disabled.