destroy the notion that someone’s mental health is what makes them evil.
destroy the notion that mental illnesses make bad people.
destroy the notion that you can’t be an outright awful person without being mentally ill.
destroy the notion that neurotypical people can do no harm.
Hari Kondabolu (via misandry-mermaid)
This is CRITICAL. Remember, the oppressors do NOT want to stop oppressing; they simply want you to endure it but be quiet about it AND not acknowledge how it impacts almost every choice you can make in life and how you navigate life itself. This is the core of bootstrap theory, a facet of the lie of meritocracy, as to why it is a disgusting and flawed concept.
This quote is EVERYTHING.
I’m not obsessed with racism. You’re complacent in white supremacy.
I think I have figured out the answer to a question I asked a while ago, about what to do afterwards with times when I act otherwise than the way I would like to act, when neither yelling at or despairing of myself, nor being like ‘oh well then’ are good ways.
If I act otherwise than the way I want to act, that means there’s a problem somewhere, and this particular falling short is a manifestation of the problem. The thing that I want to do is figure out what the problem is and what I can do to make myself more effective at acting in the way I want. The manifestation is information I can use for doing this.
Maybe there’s a completely outside thing that’s interfering, and I need to deal with that. Maybe I’m trying to act in a way that doesn’t work for me, and should adjust that. Maybe the thing I’m trying to do isn’t a thing that’s going to work for me and I need to adjust my goals. Maybe some combination, maybe something else.
If I acted a certain way, that came from something. If I want to act a certain way, I need to have the somethings that will come from. Since I’m concerned about it, ‘I just don’t care’ isn’t the reason, and ‘just do better’ isn’t a method because if wanting and going off was enough I would be doing better already. So there’s something else, and I can work on it.
'You're terrible' isn't good for me and isn't useful. Just leaving it and going on is probably going to produce the same results again, because nothing will have changed. But I can be conscious of what happened, and learn what I can from it, and work on figuring out and implementing how to go on better.
Restless, which is a particular thing of mine which is a kind of a disfocused urge to doing. Recording observations-from-inside for later:
Things that appeal (vs don’t)
-Building with lots of 2x4 lego bricks (but not different lego bricks) [Question: is there somewhere I can buy 2x4 lego bricks in bulk at a reasonable price?]
-Perler beads feel overly fine work for this (along with the materials issue)
-Building popsicle stick cubes (problem: using up materials, and what will I do with the cubes)
-Making folders out of poster board (I need to get more posterboard)
-Trying out attaching for-binder rings to a folder, which was an idea I had, worked, but I’m not sure if doing it some more would
-Not running. Yes climbing things
-Carrying or moving things as long as I don’t have to make decisions about where they go